Anatomy of a Zombie

Let's talk about the anatomy of a zombie for a moment. You know that zombies are putrefied, rotting corpses that are walking around trying to eat your brains, but some people forget that they were once (and recently) human beings. Take the above picture, that girl is actually quite cute and it is a real shame that she is now a zombie.  I mean just look at those eyes, captivating, enthralling and, unfortunately, distracting. 

A long-held, common misconception is that zombies are immortal. In fact, the vast majority of zombies live less than one year. It is possible to determine a zombie's age based on their external appearance; specifically, their level of decomposition, also known as necrotic degradation. Seriously, you know how long it takes for a body to decompose once it is embalmed, preserved and otherwise taken care of in a nice sealed box? Now let that body shamble around in the open. 

The great irony of zombie life is that even as they voraciously feed, they too are being fed upon. A zombie's body is like a big petri dish serving host to everything from bacteria and fungi to maggots and ants. The resulting state of putrefaction lends not only to the ultimate destruction of the zombie but also the survivability of the human populace. Think about it, during the Cold War, people had fallout bunkers and survival rations for years and years to avoid the nuclear debris of the atomic war. 

If you can survive underground and in shelter from that terrible fate for multiple years, why can't you stay underground with a nice and comfortable life, while the zombies outside slowly decompose into nothing but Zombi-Mulch that will make a pretty green world for you to step out into? 

That is all well and good, but what happens if you don't have a fallout bunker or rations and supplies to last a year or two underground? Well, its time to hit the streets and become a Zombie-Slaying-Machine because in the cutthroat world of the zombie apocalypse, only the strong and smart survive. 

I want to share with you my ultimate zombie plan, although I should not give away many of the secrets I am giving away, I am confident that if I don't give away the location that it will be a great place for me to hold up when the shit hits the fan and the Dead Walk. 

Somewhere in the Mojave desert, near Las Vegas, is a compound that was purchased by yours truly and has since been convereted into a Zombie Survival Shelter. It is 8,450 square feet, 20ft underground with 2 foot thick concrete walls surrounding it. On top of the bunker is a full fledged and honest to God house with an Algae Cultivation center in the back of it. The sunlight causes the Algae to grow (photosynthesis) and when the algae blooms and it mature, it is taken out, harvested and turned into a variety of wonderful products and substances. 

Here is a list of what I have personally made from Algae: 

• A natural and healthy food source. It is a complete "whole food" that is sustainable, completely healthy and, once you get past the flavor, can be packaged or pressed in almost any way.
• Fuel: Ladies and gentlemen, "Crude Oil" is ancient algae that has been pressed and heated by the pressure and heat of the world. Seriously, do some research on this. I've made my own fuel from this stuff. 
• Petrochemicals:  If crude oil is your thing, then petrochemicals are known to you. To most people, however, petrochemical is just a word that they don't really grasp. Chemical substances derived from petroleum, that's what I'm talking about and you are using something derived from petroleum right now. Seriously, you are. 
• Animal Stock: This stuff is great to feed to your animals, if you have any left and if they are not infected by the zombie apocalypse, feed your livestock the algae and you will see that they grow bigger, stronger, healthier and without any chemicals or steroids to make them so huge. 
   

The compound has a processing plant, where I can render my algae in any way that I want and with a little bit of research, trial and error and a tiny bit of luck, I can have nearly anything I need without ever leaving my compound. Seriously, I suggest everyone go this route at some point in the near future. Micro-Bunkers are great, you don't need a whole lot of underground space and if you build them right, you can have the sunlight come in from outside a unbreakable dome, grow your algae and allow you to survive entirely underground for the duration of the zombie apocalypse. 

Now that you know the basics of my bunker, you will also need to know that I am heavily armed, trained in a great many forms of military tactics and survival as well as being slightly anti-social, so please don't come looking for my bunker. If you do, you may find it and that ... won't be good. 

 

      

Walking Dead Facebook Game

Alright, so in light of the latest episode of The Walking Dead on AMC, I would like to ask everyone who may visit this Blog to download the FaceBook App from Here for every download, $1.00 will be donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation on DigitalCollectionPlate.com

Lori gave her baby a chance on the TV show by doing what she did, unfortunately many young children and young adults do not get a chance to see life in its fullest. If you download the game from above and install it, $1.00 will be donated to Make-A-Wish to support someone who has a wish in this world, before it ends.

Gather together, get everyone to support this cause and you will do something great for this world and the worthy people that Make-A-Wish supports.

Also, you don't have much time because of the impending apocalypse so please go there now and get it done. Anyone who wants to donate to Make-A-Wish, but may not have the financial means, can go to http://www.digitalcollectionplate.com/fundeedonation.php?link=Makeawish&act=anon and simply fill out a survey or offer. It's 100% free of charge and every time you complete an offer or survey, you will raise money for Make-A-Wish.

The Zombie Apocalypse e-Store

The legendary George A. Romero told the story all too well in his prophetic telling of Dawn of the Dead in 1978. The unfortunate truth behind consumerism is that we would probably feel the safest in a shopping mall or some large superstore when the world ends, because it is familiar to us and we naturally think that whatever we need will always be there. I'm afraid to say that won't always be the case. Trucks need to run, associates need to unload and stock the shelves, orders need to be placed.

When the world ends and society grinds to a halt, there will not be a "next week delivery" of the items you need. There will not be a overnight special or a layaway plan, no boys and girls when the shit hits the fan there will be two kinds of survivors: Those who prepared and Zombie-Food.

In an effort to help as many survivors as possible get past the apocalypse and get a foothold on their own futures, I've put together a small e-store (located in the tab above) that currently showcases things I have personally purchased for my stash as well as a few other odds and ends that I recommend. Every purchase will not only help you be fully prepared for the bleak and dismal future of a post apocalyptic wasteland, it will also show your support of your fellow man and encourage us all to work together in the end of days.

Solar Generators, Survival Guides, Crossbows and stacks upon stacks of bolts (arrows) as well as paramilitary gear and other survival and tactical accessories that are essential for your survival are available, but you can also pick up some of the random and comforting items you need to experience the most our wonderful civilization has to offer before it comes crashing down.

So, get what you need and want now because it will not last forever.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

"When the is no more room in hell, the dead will walk."

That makes me think, what all kinds of zombies are there? I started to think about the different kinds of zombies and the ways the infection begin. 

This list is, by no means, complete or to represent every way the Zombie Horde will come into existence to kill us all but here we go: 

• Nuclear Waste: 

• Space-Born Radiation:
• Biological Experimentation: (28 Days Later, Resident Evil, etc)
• Religious Failures or Biblical Prophecy:
• Aliens:
• A Sumatran rat-monkey (Dead Alive!)
• Neurotoxins:
• Nano Technology: To keep soldiers alive after they are killed in battle, nano technology has already been successfully grafted to brain tissue and they can form their own neural pathways, meaning they can use your brain to keep operating your limbs after you've deceased and, presumably, right up until you rot to pieces in mid-stride
  

Needless to say, aliens and space-born radiation are the least of our worries and I don't really believe that is how the apocalypse will begin. I think we, as a race of perfection seeking narcissists, will kick start the end of days by desperately seeking a way to preserve our own lives or to preserve the lives of our loved ones. Yes, death is tragic and it always makes us feel sad but when you start to dabble in science that can reanimate dead tissue, you have to begin to wonder if you are starting something you can never stop. 

Yes I would like to preserve my life and the life of those I care about, but at the cost of potentially starting the Zombie Apocalypse because I want to shed a few years with a "youth serum"? I think not. 

Oh, who am I kidding? I want the Zombie Apocalypse to happen, I'm ready for it and I'll be a king. I already have my concrete fortress, 30 years of rations, weapons and ammo, tools, supplies, enough solar panels to power everything I need and I can grow algae to render into gasoline, jet-fuel, food and petrochemicals. 

I'm good.

Walking Dead!

Now, this is something I have been enjoying for a while now and it is only going to get better. The Walking Dead form AMC is a video Bible on how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse and, by God, I'm a devout subscriber. The show, if you don't know, takes place after the zombie apocalypse and it shows what life is going to be like when the shit hits the fan. 

It is gritty, dark, grungy, violent, disturbed and utterly beautiful. They show what it is like when society collapses and we return to the animals that we are, it's fantastic!

If you are interested in getting involved in this series, maybe you may want to download their small game and play around in that universe. You can get it here and it's completely free. 

There may be some of you who don't know the deal with Walking Dead and this would be a great introduction to the series but if you want to go all hard-core zombie slaying badass, you can grab the first two seasons from Amazon.com before it, and all the other websites in the world, go down. 

Plus, if you buy it from here, you can support this blogger and his quest for the ultimate zombie defense network.

Stalking Dead

Introducing the KNIGHT XV: The ultimate Zombie-Proof Vehicle!

Lets face it, unless you have one of these at the onset of the Zombie Apocalypse it is very unlikely that you will discover one just laying around, keys in ignition and security door open just for you. No, it's a much safer bet to count on your own vehicle to get you through the "First 48" and to put you in a better position to defend yourself. 

In order to keep your vehicle on the road and in shape, you better have a few pieces of insurance available to you so you can keep on moving when the world stops and zombies rule the earth. The best bet is to be prepared and to have this stuff before the end of the world, hell it can even do you some good before the apocalypse so you might as well have it anyway. 

My recommendation for "All-In-One" emergency road kit would be the Bridgestone and Travel Road Safety Kit with Carry Case because it has automotive tools, personal accessories, a first-aid kit, flares, safety triangles and pretty much everything else you need when you are on the road and it follows my #1 portability tip: It has its own carrying case.

Everything you want and need is in this one bag that you can throw in the back of the car and be on your way. Trust me, it is a good idea to have this thing handy in case the world comes to an end and the dead start to rise.

Until then, you also need to remember basic vehicle maintenance and other safety concerns so I suggest you keep your insurance up to date at all times. Even though you won't need insurance for your vehicle when the horde is knocking at your door, it is good to have in the mean time and it is the law of the land, so keep it updated. If you want to see if you can get a better rate on your insurance, just go here fill in your basic information and someone close by will be in contact to save you some money on your insurance.

With that saved insurance money, be sure to stock up on your survival gear and end of the world preparedness stash.

Survival Kit

When they come for you, and they will, it's best to be as ready as you can be and I'm here to give you the list of what is needed to survive the "First 48" of a Zombie Apocalypse.

1. Fire: Seriously, before you grab the riot shotguns and the bourbon, consider how you hard fire is going to be to come by when there is no electricity. Fire is good for: 
1. Light. (No electricity, remember?)
2. Heat. (Yep, electricity again)
3. Food Preperation. (...)
4. Sterilization. 
5. Ignition.
2.  Crank Radio: Communication with other survivals is key. Although I will avoid large groups due to safety reasons, a small tight knit group of survivors is always better than going at it alone. Being able to find out where the shelters are (temporarily, they always get overrun) and where any evacuation points is always a big priority. Believe me, Batteries are not your friend.
3. Solar Generator: When people are scrambling for a bit of the old life, be ready to keep your gear powered, your flashlights flashing and your battery powered things (cause, I know you'll ignore #2 and keep them) powered with a Goal Zero 19006 Guide 10 Adventure Kit with 4 Goal Zero AA Batteries this bad boy can keep your stuff charged and, best of all, it's portable.
4. A Good Knife: One of the things you need in any survival situation, zombies or not, is a good survival knife. The Rothco Deluxe Adventurer Survival Kit Knife is good solid knife. It has a few extra gadgets and items with it that makes it a real good deal. Remember to always carry a knife with you, before nearly anything else remember your knife. 
5. A Solid Multi-Tool: Listen, knives are awesome, fire is great, radios are handy and generators are cool but in every single pocket, bag, pack, glove-box, storage shed or tool box should be a multi-tool or "Leatherman". These are essential for just about every damn thing you can think of and, by god, they have so many uses I can't even begin to scratch the surface. My favorite is the Leatherman Wave Black Oxide Finish Multi Tool with Nylon MOLLE Sheath , 830246 it is solid, portable and a great tool. 

I never go anywhere without these items. Seriously, I take them with me everywhere I go because they are useful in every situation. Need to charge your cell phone? Solar Generator! Need to amputate your veterinarians leg before he turns into a zombie? Knife! Need to catch some shit on fire? You see my point? Make sure to add these items to your survival kit as soon as you can.

By the way, the Goal Zero stuff is absolutely awesome. I first saw Goal Zero at a Costco in Las Vegas this year and it blew me away how powerful those portable generators are. If you want complete autonomy, check out their YETI battery generators they are huge, powerful and whole-house capable.